Jimmy and Jessica have been married for 5 years. They wanted to do an anniversary session to celebrate their time together. They both came with letters they wrote to each other. We found a secluded spot along the path. They sat down. With Jimmy’s hand on her knee, Jessica began reading what was on her heart. The whole time felt sacred to me, and if I felt that way, I can’t imagine what they felt.
I don’t remember much of what was in those letters. My brain muffled it out, as if it was almost out of respect for them and their words to each other. I do remember one thing, though. And I have been thinking about it ever since. I’m not sure if they discussed beforehand what the content of the letters should be, but near the beginning of both of their letters, they apologized to each other.
I find that so interesting, and so endearing. I think our culture has moved away from, and almost teaches us, to not apologize. Because, an apology recognizes that you are either wrong or caused someone else to hurt. Who likes doing that? Instead of hearing an apology, we hear:
I can say whatever I want. If you are hurt by it, that’s your problem.
I was just being honest.
Well, its the truth!
Well, its the truth!
I am entitled to feel the way that I feel.
Apologizing is hard, and it certainly does not align with the ‘do what you want, when you want to, with whomever you want and don’t care what others think’ mentality that is so prevalent these days.
But what people forget is that an honest apology is a reconnection. It says ‘hey, my actions/words drove a wedge between you and I, and I don’t want that.’ Apologies are important in any relationship, but ESPECIALLY in a marriage! Look, we are human. We are going to mess things up. Multiple times a day! We will put ourselves first before our spouse. We are going to be quick to anger, blurt things out instead of thinking of the right words to address the situation. We are going to act on feelings and emotions instead of thinking and talking about them. We hurt each other, it needs to be acknowledged, and we NEED to be reconnected.
You know that feeling you get when no one else understands you but your spouse?? There is no other explanation needed. They just know. You are both on the same page, things are clicking.. and it feels GOOD. Removing all that built up stuff by saying 'I'm sorry' gets you back on that road. On the road to togetherness. And, to me, that's what these pictures show.
Jimmy and Jessica, I think this is just the beginning for you two. You acknowledge your shortcomings. You celebrate each other whenever you can. You love doing things together. You make each other laugh. You see the best in each other. Your love was evident in each picture I took. I am honored to be apart of such a sacred time in your lives, and I hope these pictures will be forever special to you.